The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality by Julie Sondra Decker. No affiliate links used. Read my full disclosure policy here.
April 6th is International Asexuality Day, the perfect time to review The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality by Julie Sondra Decker. I requested it on Borrowbox immediately after reading Claire Kane’s review on Instagram, and I am so glad I did. I switched between the audio and the ebook version.
Decker does a brilliant job of exploring asexuality in a way that is accessible to asexual people, people who think they may be asexual, and people who want to be better allies of the asexual/ace community.
While The Invisible Orientation is necessarily fact-heavy, it never feels too academic. Decker draws a clear line between our sex-focused society and the damaging and frankly bullshit idea that asexuality is not a sexual orientation, so there must be something medically wrong with asexual people.
We are, rightfully, discussing the negative impact compulsory heterosexuality has on LGBTQIA+ people much more frequently these days, but compulsory sexuality isn’t spoken about nearly as often. I deeply appreciated the perspectives of the ace people quoted throughout the book. It’s given me a lot to think about in how I talk about sexuality and relationships and how we can be better allies to the Ace community.
Books like this are so important, especially in the current climate. I found comfort and understanding in reading other people’s experiences of bisexuality, pansexuality, and m-spec orientations while figuring out my sexuality during my 20s. If even one person reading The Invisible Orientation finds recognition or understanding of their asexuality, especially if they haven’t previously had the language to describe their experiences, then Decker’s work is worth its weight in gold. And I already know more than one person will have that experience!
The TL;DR version is that everyone, regardless of their sexual orientation, should read The Invisible Orientation. Next on my reading list is Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen.
The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality by Julie Sondra Decker is published by Skyhorse and is available in hardback, paperback, ebook, and audiobook formats.
I don’t use affiliate links, but if you enjoy my book reviews you can show your support by buying me a coffee here.