Poor: Grit, courage, and the life-changing value of self-belief by Katriona O’Sullivan

Poor: Grit, courage, and the life-changing value of self-belief by Katriona O’Sullivan. No Advance Reader Copy included. No affiliate links were used. Read my full disclosure policy here.

Dr Katriona O’Sullivan is a lecturer at Maynooth University, where her work in MU’s Department of Psychology Assisting Living & Learning Institute focuses on digital skills and social inclusion. O’Sullivan grew up in abject poverty and deprivation as one of five children raised in the UK by parents who both lived with addiction issues. The chaos of O’Sullivan’s home life as her parents cycled through active addiction, periods of sobriety, and back to active addiction meant that she and her siblings were left essentially to fend for themselves. 

In Poor, O’Sullivan takes us back to her childhood as she shares her memories of the neglect and abuse, including sexual abuse by a family friend, she experienced. I use the word memories deliberately because early in the book, Katriona states that there are memories she wants to keep and is happy to talk about, and there are memories she wants to let go. She writes, “I want to tell you about these too, so I can leave them here and move on from them.” What follows is a matter-of-fact recounting of her childhood and teenage years, including becoming homeless and a single mother at 15, her own experience with addiction, and attending university as an adult while raising her young son. 

The thing about memoirs is that it is impossible to cover everything about your life in one book, so choices are made about which aspects to focus on the most. The latter section about O’Sullivan attending Trinity College Dublin through the Trinity Access Programme and continuing to obtain her PhD felt rushed compared to the earlier section. That said, Poor is a testament to Katriona’s determination, the power of education, and the lasting impact of teachers who go out of their way to support their students who have otherwise fallen through the cracks. 

Poor can be a challenging read, subject-wise. We shouldn’t shy away from the realities and consequences of poverty and addiction, so I recommend picking up a copy. O’Sullivan has written a memoir full of compassion and empathy towards herself and her parents. But also the compassion and empathy Katriona received from the teachers and care workers who helped shape her life. 

Poor: Grit, courage, and the life-changing value of self-belief by Katriona O’Sullivan is published by Sandycove, an imprint of Penguin Random House. Poor is available in trade paperback, ebook, and audiobook formats.

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Shame by Annie Ernaux

Shame by Annie Ernaux, translated by Tanya Leslie. Advance Reader Copy (eARC) from the publisher via NetGalley included. No affiliate links were used. Read my full disclosure policy here.

‘My father tried to kill my mother one Sunday in June, in the early afternoon.’ 

Annie Ernaux’s Shame, translated from French by Tanya Leslie, opens with the directness readers have come to expect from her work. Ernaux was twelve when she witnessed her father’s attempt to kill her mother. This traumatic event divided her life into before and after as she ‘waited for the scene to be repeated.’ It did not happen again, but the expectation compounded the shame that Ernaux ‘began living in.’

Shame is Ernaux’s exploration of the aftermath of that June 1952 afternoon as she tries to understand why shame was her overriding reaction. Shame is not an easy emotion to share with other people. Or yourself. Ernaux spent years downplaying shame’s impact on her life and relationships. Her relationship with her parents, but since shame is far-reaching, it impacts every relationship. It was not always to the same degree or in obvious ways, but it was under the surface. 

Yet, shame thrives in silence. It convinces us that no one will understand. It tricks us into thinking we are alone. As Ernaux discovers through confronting her shame, people may not completely understand your experience, just as you may not fully understand theirs, but that does not mean we are alone. Or that shame is something we can never shake. 

In Shame, Ernaux carefully excavates her trauma, interrogates her memories, and shows people’s shame is interlinked, regardless of our differing root causes. I used excavates deliberately because, to the reader, it feels like Ernaux is removing layers of earth to uncover the core of what makes us human. I highly recommend it! 

Shame by Annie Ernaux, translated by Tanya Leslie, is published by Fitzcarraldo Editions in the UK & Ireland and by Seven Stories Press elsewhere. Happenings is available in paperback, ebook, and audiobook formats.

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Penance by Eliza Clark

Penance by Eliza Clark. No Advance Reader Copy included. No affiliate links were used. Read my full disclosure policy here.

Eliza Clark’s sophomore novel Penance is a book within a book. The story is framed as a true crime book detailing the murder of teenager Joan Wilson by three of her classmates written by journalist Alec Z. Carelli. From the beginning, we know that Carelli was accused of fabricating quotes and deliberately misrepresenting people. We also know that he illegally obtained some of the material he used. After being pulled from the shelves by its original publisher, it has been republished with an explanation in the introduction, but much of the text remains in its original form. 

Carelli’s book follows, drawing on court testimony, interviews, podcast transcriptions, emails, group chats and social media posts. The perpetrators, Angelica, Violet, and Dolly, are painted as unreliable narrators as they scramble to distance themselves from Joan’s horrific and violent murder on the night of the Brexit vote. Clark’s depiction of the crime is particularly gruesome. Joan is also considered an unreliable narrator of her own life. Yet, this ‘definitive account’ of Joan’s murder is written by a journalist who the reader knows is also an unreliable narrator. Throughout Carelli’s book, true-crime podcast transcripts add their own layer of confusion to the ‘what the hell is happening?’ of it all. 

Crime fiction, which examines our obsession with true crime as entertainment, has proliferated in the last couple of years. Clark’s Penance is among the best of them. The writing is engrossing, incisive, and compellingly depicts the unethical nature of the true-crime industry.

Penance by Eliza Clark is published by Faber & Faber and is available in hardback, ebook, and audiobook formats.

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The Woman In Me by Britney Spears

The Woman in Me by Britney Spears. No Advance Reader Copy included. No affiliate links were used. Read my full disclosure policy here.

In that moment, I made peace with my family—by which I mean that I realized I never wanted to see them again, and I was at peace with that.

The Woman in Me understandably covers a lot of ground, as Britney Spears tells her story on her terms for the first time. The media has also extensively covered aspects of Spears’ memoir, so even if you haven’t read it, you have some idea of what happened. Given this, knowing where to begin my review is difficult. So, I am focusing on the things that struck me most and have stayed with me in the weeks since reading it. I also have a piece coming up in my newsletter, specifically about Britney’s decision to share her abortion experience. 

When I was diagnosed with bipolar, Britney Spears was regularly mentioned to me in an ‘Oh, like Britney!’ way. ‘Yes, like Britney!’ I’m pretty sure I replied because, like everyone else, I had absorbed the narrative that Britney having bipolar disorder was the reason for her conservatorship. And while the conservatorship being abusive and bullshit was clear, I never questioned whether Britney had bipolar disorder. The Woman in Me shows that Britney experienced multiple periods of mental ill-health. However, It quickly becomes apparent that they were likely either post-natal depression, post-natal anxiety, or a combination of both rather than bipolar. The upshot of this misdiagnosis is that whatever psychiatric care (and, to be honest, not a lot of it sounded like it was rooted in actually caring for her) Britney received was treating the wrong condition.

It is difficult to untangle Britney’s psychiatric mistreatment from the weaponisation of addiction and forcing her into recovery when it's not at all clear whether addiction was ever truly a problem for her. This ambiguity may be deliberate, especially around using the unnamed energy supplements, and Britney deserves her privacy. It is also possible that the ambiguity is an accurate representation of the fact that, yes, there were times when she leaned on alcohol or drugs more than others that never reached the level of addiction. Britney speaks about finding connections at 12-step meetings (the ones she was forced to attend) that she never felt elsewhere, which is such a tender moment in the book, and it's good that she has positive experiences of this time. But, again, I want to emphasise that she was forced to be there. She wasn’t even allowed to choose which meetings to attend. Her father did. THIS IS NOT HOW 12-STEP PROGRAMMES ARE SUPPOSED TO WORK!!! He used them as another way of controlling Britney's life. He used his alcoholism against her by trotting out the fact alcoholism is in the family, so she has it as well. Which may or may not be true.

If I sound annoyed, it's because I am. I finished The Woman in Me a few weeks ago, and the longer I think about it the more furious I get. None of what Britney was put through is how you should treat mental illness or addiction. I added an expletive-laden comment for every part I highlighted because almost everyone in Britney’s life failed her. 

I don't subscribe to the notion that memoir writing is automatically cathartic, but I hope this experience was for Britney. Although, I know The Woman in Me was ghostwritten by Sam Lansky. I am pleased Britney is finally telling us what she was forced to endure. It's important to hear from Britney herself.


The Woman in Me by Britney Spears is published by Gallery Books, an imprint of Simon & Schuster. The Woman in Me is available in hardback, ebook and audiobook formats.

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Bodies on the Line: At the Front Lines of the Fight to Protect Abortion in America by Lauren Rankin

Bodies on the Line: At the Front Lines of the Fight to Protect Abortion in America by Lauren Rankin. No Advance Reader Copy included. No affiliate links were used. Read my full disclosure policy here.

Bodies on the Line: At the Front Lines of the Fight to Protect Abortion in America by Lauren Rankin charts the fight for abortion rights in America through the eyes of abortion clinic escorts, abortion clinic defenders, and grassroots activists and organisers. Rankin is a former volunteer clinic escort at a New Jersey abortion clinic. 

Rankin is clear-eyed in her assessment of anti-abortion groups tactics, which in the US included murdering abortion providers, and how they changed over time. Their changing tactics take into account legislative changes designed to end their harassment and intimidation of pregnant people seeking healthcare. 

Bodies on the Line is a powerful tribute to the ordinary everyday people who continuously show up to ensure people access abortion care without facing intimidation from anti-abortion protesters. The hardback edition was published before SCOTUS overturned Roe v. Wade, but the paperback includes a post-Roe update.

Bodies on the Line: At the Front Lines of the Fight to Protect Abortion in America by Lauren Rankin is published by Counterpoint and is available in hardback, paperback, ebook, and audiobook formats.

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Main Character Energy by Jamie Varon

Main Character Energy by Jamie Varon. Advance Reader Copy (eARC) from the publisher via Netgalley included. No affiliate links were used. Read my full disclosure policy here.

I've been a fan of Jamie Varon’s non-fiction writing for years, so when I spotted her debut novel, Main Character Energy, on NetGalley, I was delighted to be approved! 

Poppy Banks has what should be her dream job writing for Thought Buzz (excellent naming choice for a Buzzfeed and Thought Catalog mash-up! ). Yet, she would rather write mystery novels than endless listicles accompanied by pressure to hit a number of clicks.

When Poppy's aunt, Margot, dies (it's in the blurb, so not a spoiler), she leaves Poppy a trip to the French Riviera. Once there, Poppy realises that Margot has also left her an incredible villa. There is just one catch! In order to inherit the villa, Poppy has six months to write her novel. Can she do it, or will procrastination and self-sabotage rule the day again?

What follows is a captivating novel about figuring out who you really are, what you want, and living with intention (side note, this is also the name of Varon's brilliant online course). What happens if you do it for the plot twist? Main Character Energy has creativity, romance, complicated familial relationships, and working towards your dreams.

Poppy Banks leaps off the page as a woman intent – again, a word I have chosen deliberately – on making the most of her life after years of simply doing the bare minimum. I loved it! 

Main Character Energy by Jamie Varon is published by Headline Eternal, an imprint of Hachette UK, in Europe and Park Row Books, an imprint of HarperCollins, in the US. Main Character Energy is available in paperback, ebook, and audiobook formats.

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What Walks These Halls by Amy Clarkin

What Walks These Halls by Amy Clarkin. Advance Reader Copy (eARC) from the publisher via Netgalley included. No affiliate links were used. Read my full disclosure policy here.

Raven O'Sullivan doesn't remember what happened in Hyacinth House five years ago, but she knows her father’s death was her fault even though everyone says it was an accident. Raven's parents were paranormal investigators with Paranormal Surveyance Ireland (PSI), and Raven was eager to work cases with them. 

Her brother, Archer, wasn't in Hyacinth House that day, but he won't stop searching for answers. Hell-bent on reopening their parent's business, Archer jumps at the chance to head to Hyacinth House when a new case lands on his desk. 

Raven wants to say no, but as she is drawn deeper into the mystery, she knows there is only one way of getting answers. By confronting whatever inhabits Hyacinth House.

Éabha McLoughlin hears and sees things no one does. When a late-night internet search leads to Archer and co at PSI, Éabha thinks she might finally get some answers. But at what cost? 

With What Walks These Halls, Amy Clarkin has created a captivating cast of characters full of LGBTQ+ and disability representation. Given that What Walks These Halls is a YA novel, I wasn’t expecting to be as freaked out as I was by the novel’s conclusion. Overall, I really enjoyed it and look forward to What Walks These Halls 2.

What Walks These Halls by Amy Clarkin is published by O’Brien Press and is available in paperback and ebook formats.

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Social Capital by Aoife Barry

Social Capital: Life online in the shadow of Ireland’s tech boom by Aoife Barry. No Advance Reader Copy included. No affiliate links were used. Read my full disclosure policy here.

I read Social Capital in two sittings, stopping only to eat dinner; that’s how compelling it is. Blending her personal experiences online with reportage and cultural criticism, journalist Aoife Barry questions whether any of us, including social media companies, knew what we were in for when we logged onto the internet for the first time. 

Like most people, I have a complicated relationship with social media. Some days I long to delete everything and live in an app-free world. I know this isn’t a realistic prospect. Although I deleted my Twitter account a few years ago, which was the best decision, even though it is where I met my husband, P. I’ll always have a soft spot for the Irish Twitter of the 2010s, but that is not today's Twitter. But Social Capital isn’t a call for everyone to delete social media. 

Instead, Barry provides a nuanced look at social media's role in our lives and explores what it means for Ireland that many tech companies have their European headquarters in Dublin. We know social media needs improving, but how do we ensure tech companies do it? And where should legislation come into play, or should it? These are big questions with no easy answers, but Barry’s considered approach reminds us that social media is a lifeline for so many people, so it is not as simple as telling everyone to log the fuck off. 

This nuance is especially relevant when discussing anonymity online. Some people hide behind their anonymity to say and do horrific things, but there are also people —particularly people from marginalised groups — for whom anonymity online is vital. We see this in Barry’s interview with Aoife Martin. I also appreciated Aoife, Kate McEvoy, and Sarah Maria Griffin sharing their experiences of being harassed online by a man who targeted several Irish women. He was convicted in 2019. 

So much of the talk around social media is filtered through an American or British lens, so it is great to see life online examined from an Irish perspective. Aoife’s walk through the Silicon Docks in the final chapter is so vividly depicted that I felt like I had taken the walk myself.

Social Capital: Life online in the shadow of Ireland’s tech boom by Aoife Barry is published by HarperCollins Ireland, an imprint of HarperCollins. Social Capital is available in trade paperback, ebook, and audiobook formats.

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Yellowface by Rebecca F. Kuang

Yellowface by Rebecca F. Kuang. Advance Reader Copy (eARC) from the publisher via Netgalley included. No affiliate links were used. Read my full disclosure policy here.

Billed as a literary thriller about a stolen manuscript and a satirical look at the darker side of the publishing world, the premise of Yellowface drew me in immediately. I haven’t read R.F. Kuang's previous books for no reason other than their blurbs never appealed to me. 

Yellowface is an intense and compelling read, but for me, it tried to do too much and fell flat as a result. The tl;dr is that I loved the premise, but not the execution! 

June Hayward's debut novel wasn’t exactly a hit. Athena Liu is a bestselling author and literary darling. Their relationship is complicated. They are not quite friends but not quite colleagues either. When Athena dies (it's in the blurb, so not a spoiler), June steals her unpublished manuscript and sets out to have the career she feels she should have from the beginning. Say goodbye to June Hayward and hello to Juniper Song.

I don't subscribe to the notion that everything a fictional character does or says is rooted in the author's beliefs. But here, I found it difficult to separate what I know about Kuang's opinions on people writing whatever they want instead of solely writing what they know regarding race, gender, sexuality, etc. Yellowface didn't feel like an exploration of racism in publishing, cancel culture, and white privilege so much as being whacked over the head repeatedly by 'the point'. 

There is nothing wrong with an author setting out to make a specific point; I love a good issue-focused novel. But with Yellowface straddling two genres – literary fiction and satire – the balance between them got lost, which left me wishing the story was wrapped up much sooner than it was.

In the weeks since reading it, I have returned to one question; who was Yellowface written for? The novel is an international bestseller, so it has an audience. However, I'd love to know what people who aren't terminally online or knowledgeable about the publishing industry discourse of the last few years think about social media's role in the story. Some of Kuang's best writing is during the online cancellation campaign. But does that seem as equally far-fetched to people not in the know as the rest of the novel? Even though the accuracy of Kuang's portrayal of social media cancel culture is the novel’s strength.

It is also fascinating to watch the publicity campaigns around Yellowface and how they echo some of what Kuang discusses in the novel about how publishers decide to put their money into massive PR campaigns for X novel versus barely promoting Y novel.

Yellowface by Rebecca F. Kuang is published by The Borough Press in Europe and William Morrow in the US, both imprints of HarperCollins. Yellowface is available in hardback, trade paperback, ebook, and audiobook formats.

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My Hot Friend by Sophie White

My Hot Friend by Sophie White. No Advance Reader Copy included. No affiliate links were used. Read my full disclosure policy here.

‘What am I like? She repeated silently.

What am I like? What am I like? 

It’s happening again. It’s not. It’s not.

It’s happening again. I’ll never be free of this.’

I started reading Sophie White’s latest novel, My Hot Friend when my pre-order arrived in May. I had to force myself to put it down and go to sleep. Yet, as the story progressed, my sense of dread and recognition grew, and I needed to walk away from the novel for a while. Contrary to how that sounds, I mean it as a compliment. White’s depiction of bipolar disorder is so realistic that watching Claire’s mental health spiral made me remember my hypomanic episodes. As much of them as are rememberable, anyway! 

I picked it up again because it’s this month’s Tired Mammy Book Club choice, and I am so glad I did because I loved it. It’s the best depiction of bipolar I’ve read in fiction. I nodded along as Claire second-guessed herself. Her inner monologue about whether she was keeping on top of her medication and getting enough sleep was so familiar. I understood the warped logic that had Claire insist that she was perfectly fine when it was increasingly obvious that she wasn’t. I felt Claire’s realisation that everything was not, in fact, okay deep in my bones. 

But what about the plot? Claire hasn’t heard from her friends in a while, and the group chat is suspiciously quiet, which can only mean one thing — they’ve set up a new WhatsApp group without her. Lexi co-hosts the popular Your Hot Friend podcast with her best friend Amanda — but between the semi-regular online cancellations and the increasing fame, is the podcast worth ruining their friendship? Joanne is struggling with the change in friendship dynamics since she had her son — neither her friends nor her boyfriend understands how lonely she is because she cannot simply drop everything for impromptu drinks anymore. 

As their lives intersect in ways that only Sophie White could make sound even remotely plausible, each woman must figure out which relationships are worth saving. I’ve focused on Claire’s storyline because it impacted me the most. But Lexi and Joanne are relatable characters even if their specific circumstances aren’t. 

Have I mentioned how hilarious My Hot Friend is? It shouldn’t be given much of the subject matter. But I appreciate that Sophie White handles difficult topics with dark humour. I had tears streaming down my face from laughing just as much as I did from the novel’s more devastating scenes. 

How do you sum up a book like My Hot Friend? With words that ordinarily wouldn’t make sense together. It is poignant. It is also heart-warming. It’s funny. It is also heartbreaking. Sophie White brilliantly examines female friendships, online culture, and mental illness. A must-read! 

Also, someone must make the “I’m sorry for what I did when I was manic” merch happen! I could do with more than a few apology cards and a t-shirt. 

My Hot Friend by Sophie White is published by Hachette Books Ireland, an imprint of Hachette Book Group. My Hot Friend is available in trade paperback, ebook, and audiobook formats.

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Strange Sally Diamond by Liz Nugent

Strange Sally Diamond by Liz Nugent. Advance Reader Copy (eARC) from the publisher via NetGalley included. No affiliate links were used. Read my full disclosure policy here.

‘Put me out with the bins,’ he said, regularly. ‘When I die, put me out with the bins. I’ll be dead, so I won’t know any different. You’ll be crying your eyes out,’ and he would laugh and I’d laugh too because we both knew that I wouldn’t be crying my eyes out. I never cry. 

Sally Diamond does not understand why people are making a big deal out of her following her father’s instructions of putting him out with the bins when he died. Why would he say it if she wasn’t supposed to do it? From the blurb, we know that Sally’s actions lead to a police investigation and media coverage, leading to revelations that Sally was unprepared for. 

As we’ve come to expect from Nugent, Strange Sally Diamond questions whether the horrible and disturbing things people do result from nature or nurture. These questions are never fully answered because there are no easy explanations for why people do ‘monstrous’ things. As I read, I kept thinking about Dr Gwen Adshead’s excellent non-fiction book The Devil You Know: Encounters in Forensic Psychiatry, co-written with Eileen Horne, which is a nuanced look at why people commit certain crimes. 

I desperately wanted everything to turn out okay for Sally. This is Liz Nugent, so I wasn’t expecting everything to end wrapped in a pretty bow. The position Sally found herself in at the end felt realistic to me, given everything that happened. 

Two aspects of the story kept pulling me out of the narrative. One is easier than the other to discuss without giving too much of the plot away. Sally’s asexuality is presented as being solely due to the trauma she has experienced. It is possible to be asexual and have experienced trauma, just as it is possible to be straight or bisexual and have experienced trauma. My issue is that Sally’s asexuality defaults to the asexuality = a trauma response trope that, while I do not think was Nugent’s intention, fails to see asexuality as a sexuality in its own right. 

The other major stumbling block for me, and forgive me for being vague here, are the circumstances of how Sally ends up living where she does. More than once, I thought, ‘In 1980s Ireland, really?!’ I get that these events and the actions of people making that decision are supposed to be unprecedented and unorthodox, but I could not shake the shadow of Ireland’s long history of institutionalisation. 

But it’s fiction; I can hear you saying! Just because it is set in Ireland doesn’t mean it completely matches our reality. I get that, and I accept that this reaction says more about me than Nugent’s storytelling abilities. But the present-day section mentions the pandemic, adding to my confusion and frustration. In my review of Cursed Bread by Sophie Mackintosh, I said that I didn’t know why the book affected me to the extent it did, allowing me to overlook things that ordinarily may give me pause. I equally do not understand why I got so hung up on this part of Strange Sally Diamond and couldn’t move past it. 

While this isn’t my favourite of Nugent’s novels, Strange Sally Diamond is a compelling and intensely disturbing psychological thriller examing the lasting impact of trauma. I read it in a couple of sittings, so if you are looking for a page-turner, Strange Sally Diamond is worth picking up. 


Strange Sally Diamond by Liz Nugent is published by Sandycove, an imprint of Penguin Random House. Strange Sally Diamond is available in hardback, trade paperback, ebook, and audiobook formats.

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Unsettled by Rosaleen McDonagh

Unsettled by Rosaleen McDonagh. No Advance Reader Copy included. No affiliate links used. Read my full disclosure policy here.

‘These essays are not by an inspirational person. These essays are not by a supercrip. These essays don’t pathologise my Traveller ethnicity or my gender. There was no triumphant moment of overcoming the violence inflicted on me. Instead, these pieces embody a diverse experience of what it is to be Irish. There is no room for wanting to deny or overcome my impairment. There is no hiding my Traveller ethnicity. The opposite. This book finally allows me to take ownership of my fractured heart.’

Dr Rosaleen McDonagh is an Irish Traveller woman with a disability, an academic, a playwright, a columnist, an activist, and a member of Ireland’s affiliation of creative artists, Aosdána. From the introduction, Dr McDonagh sets the parameters for the following essays by telling us that ‘These are not essays by an inspirational person.’ Instead, McDonagh informs the reader that Unsettled embodies ‘a diverse experience of what it is to be Irish.’ 

In less than 130 pages, McDonagh covers a lot of ground in these hard-hitting essays examining her life through an intersectional lens. McDonagh’s experiences as a Traveller cannot be separated from her experiences as a woman. Her experiences as a Traveller woman cannot be divorced from her experiences as a disabled person. 

McDonagh’s writing is vivid and confronting. She does not shy away from discussing racism aimed at Travellers, ableism, sexism, abuse, dehumanisation, shame, and stigma. In telling her story, McDonagh explores the very nature of identity and bodily autonomy in a manner that does not always seek to answer the questions it poses, inviting us to take a closer look at our beliefs and assumptions about Traveller culture and disability culture. 

Unsettled is an uncompromising essay collection in which McDonagh refuses to sugar-coat her experiences for settled and non-disabled/able-bodied readers. It is a welcome and necessary addition to the growing voices reminding us that Ireland is often not as progressive as we like to think. 

Unsettled by Rosaleen McDonagh is published by Skein Press and is available in paperback, ebook, and audiobook formats.

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Negative Space by Cristín Leach

Negative Space by Cristín Leach. No Advance Reader Copy included. No affiliate links used. Read my full disclosure policy here.

‘I feel safe in nature. I feel safe in art. They both contain beginnings and endings. They both take me in and out. They both take me to the edge of my heart.’

Across eight essays, art critic Cristín Leach examines the ending of her marriage through the lens of art and writing and their role in her life. Negative Space is described by the publisher, Merrion Press, as ‘searingly intimate’, yet Leach is discerning in what she shares with the reader providing a masterclass in navigating the personal and the private in a public sphere.

‘Marriage is not an end point. It is not a destination any more than other major life events or even goals. Marriage is ever shifting and evolving, just like the people in it. Marriage is not fixed. And ours couldn’t be in the end.’

In September 2013, Leach developed tinnitus. In November 2014, she received a text informing her that her husband was having an affair. In 2015, Leach and her husband decided to end their marriage. I present these details chronologically, but Negative Space isn’t a linear memoir. 

Instead, it is structured around themes — writing, seeing, listening, sounding, sinking, breaking, healing, home — with the essays including excerpts from Leach’s notebooks, published art criticism, poetry, lyrics, and short fiction. Far from leaving the narrative difficult to follow, this layered and out-of-time approach adds to the richness of the reading experience. 

Negative Space is an intense, compelling, and considered exploration of what it means to build and rebuild a life. 

Negative Space by Cristín Leach is published by Merrion Press and is available in paperback and ebook formats.

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Happening by Annie Ernaux

Happening by Annie Ernaux. No Advance Reader Copy included. No affiliate links used. Read my full disclosure policy here.

Happening by Annie Ernaux, translated from the original French by Tanya Leslie, was the Abortion Book Club choice for June. It prompted me to finally read it because it has sat on my Kindle longer than I care to admit. When we discussed Ernaux’s short — under 100 pages — memoir about the illegal abortion she had in 1963, most of us said that while we appreciated the book, we weren’t sure enjoyable described the reading experience. Or whether we would recommend it to other people. By the end of the chat, we realised that we did enjoy reading it. And most of us would recommend it to people, with the caveat that it includes a graphic description of an abortion. 

I use ‘graphic’ as a neutral descriptor. Ernaux’s depiction of her abortion is neither sensationalist nor overwrought. The bluntness of Ernaux’s writing makes it affecting and powerful. ‘I wasn’t the least bit apprehensive about getting an abortion.’, Ernaux states, letting the reader know that this abortion would happen one way or another. Even though when she decided to have one, she did not yet know how to arrange one because it was illegal. Happening is a testament to the lengths women and pregnant people will go to when they need an abortion.  

I half-joked that after his comments about abortion not being a good thing, I was tempted to send a copy to Leo Varadkar and ask him to explain why this abortion was not a good thing for Annie Ernaux. I won’t, but I considered it! 

I loved how Ernaux interjects throughout the text to tell us about the process of writing Happening. We get the matter-of-fact telling of the story combined with a thought-provoking narration of the choices Ernaux made in deciding to write about having an abortion when it was illegal in France. 

Happening by Annie Ernaux, translated by Tanya Leslie, is published by Fitzcarraldo Editions in the UK & Ireland and by Seven Stories Press elsewhere. Happenings is available in paperback and ebook formats.

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This Is Not About You: A Menmoir by Rosemary Mac Cabe

This Is Not About You: A Menmoir by Rosemary Mac Cabe. No Advance Reader Copy included. No affiliate links used. Read my full disclosure policy here.

My physical copy of This Is Not About You hasn’t arrived yet. So, when the publisher, Unbound, emailed to say that the paperback copy I pledged for included the ebook, I downloaded it yesterday, thinking, ‘I’ll read a few chapters and then finish it during the week when the book turns up.’ Many hours later, stopping just long enough to make a sandwich, I inhaled each chapter finding myself at the end much quicker than I anticipated.

Described in the blurb as a menmoir about ‘dating and romance, or lack thereof – from one terrible man to the next’, Rosemary states in the opening chapter ‘, This book is not about them, though, not really. It’s about me: how I made and unmade myself for each of them.’  Mac Cabe sets the scene for an exploration of what it means to lose yourself, find yourself, lose yourself again, and find and rebuild yourself once more. Yes, the story is told through the lens of a series of relationships with men — some long-term, some short(ish)-term, and some not even reaching relationship status — but this is a story of self-discovery and what it means to be human, with all the messiness that entails. 

This Is Not About You is written with Mac Cabe’s characteristic warmth, humour, and vulnerability. It is as enjoyable as you’d expect if you are familiar with Rosemary’s work. But Mac Cabe’s writing style is so engaging that readers coming to her work for the first time will also be sucked into this entertaining tale of figuring out who the fuck you are. Which is at the heart of the memoir. 

It is almost cliche to say that a book made you ‘laugh and cry’, but This Is Not About You did. I laughed. I cried. I cringed. In examining these relationships, Rosemary holds a mirror up to herself as much as the men involved and has no qualms in admitting when she got things wrong or behaved in ways she wouldn’t if she got the chance to relive those moments. 

I marvelled at Rosemary's balance between sharing lighter dating moments and the more serious experiences that could not have been easy to write about. I also deeply appreciated the care Mac Cabe took in writing about the men involved and acknowledging that while these are her stories as she experienced them, she cannot know for sure how the men in question viewed things. This care is particularly evident during the chapter about Johnny and how his alcohol addiction affected their relationship and Rosemary’s relationships with her closest friends. 

Personal non-fiction and life writing are my favourite genres, so I read a lot of memoirs. This Is Not About You is among the best of them. It has earned a place in my favourite books of the year, so I’ll be raving about it again in my end-of-year wrap-up. 

This Is Not About You: A Menmoir by Rosemary Mac Cabe is published by Unbound and is available in paperback and ebook formats.

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All The Books I Read In May

This round-up includes some Advance Reader Copies (eARCs) from publishers via NetGalley. These books are marked with an *. No affiliate links used. Read my full disclosure policy here.

It’s the last week in June, and I am only now writing about the books I read in May, which means that my brain has once again decided to do that annoying thing where I am capable of reading but unable to write coherent reviews or capable of writing reviews but unable to concentrate on reading. Life was much easier when I could do both of these things! 

I am still reading non-fiction more than fiction, so my 2023 goal of reading more fiction isn’t going well. 

You Are Not Alone by Cariad Lloyd

I have already reviewed You Are Not Alone, but the TL;DR version is that Cariad Lloyd has written a brilliant memoir meets grief manifesto that I want to press into the hands of everyone, whether you are grieving or not.

I read parts of it out loud to P, telling him this is my favourite grief book. This sounds weird, but I have read a lot of grief books, so I stand by my assessment!  I shouted, “fucking yes!” so forcefully while reading the sections on how grieving isn’t linear and the five stages of grief are lying to us that I startled Arwen (the dog!)

I Have Some Questions For You by Rebecca Makkai

The blurb for I Have Some Questions For You* sounded right up my street, so I wanted to love it more than I did. While brilliantly written, the story tried to do too much, and Rebeca Makkai didn’t quite pull it off. 

When film professor and podcaster Bodie Kane is invited back to the boarding school she attended to teach podcasting, one of her students decides to reexamine the murder of Thalia Keith, Bodie’s classmate and one-time roommate. 

Told across two timelines, the present day and Bodie’s school days in the 1990s, I Have Some Questions For You grapples with some heavy themes, including the ethics of true crime as entertainment, the Me Too movement, cancel culture, and racial bias in the US criminal justice system. Makkai handles some of these themes better than others. 

The storyline I had the biggest issue with is challenging to discuss in detail because although it is a subplot, I don’t want to include spoilers. What I will say is that while there is a case to be made that the vagueness, lack of clarity or any real sense of resolution that I found so frustrating is an accurate portrayal of how these experiences play out in real life and on social media, I do not think Makkai gave this storyline the attention required for this conclusion to work. 

Again, on a sentence level, Makkai’s writing is beautiful. But by the end, I wasn’t invested in any of the characters or how the main story was resolved. 

Bleaker House by Nell Stevens

Bleaker House is one of many books that has been sitting untouched on my Kindle for a ridiculous amount of time. I found the story difficult to connect with when I tried to read it. So, I switched to listening to it on audio via Borrowbox and was immediately hooked.

When Nell Stevens gets to spend three months writing in a remote location, she chooses Bleaker Island in the Falklands. Stevens tells herself that three months of dedicated writing is plenty of time to complete her novel. She soon discovers that, for her, there is such a thing as too much solitude and isolation, which isn’t conducive to writing a novel. Instead, Bleaker House is a blend of memoir, travel writing, and fragments of the novel in progress.  

I adored Bleaker House so much that I have already listened to Mrs Gaskell & Me and have Briefly, A Delicious Life on my TBR for July. 

Where the Past Begins: Memory and Imagination by Amy Tan

Where the Past Begins is part memoir of Amy Tan’s childhood and life, especially her relationship with her mother, and part exploration of how she built a life as a writer. In the introduction, Tan states that she didn’t set out to write a memoir, but when her editor suggested she write an interim book between novels, Where the Past Begins emerged. 

While deeply moving in sections, the format of Where the Past Begins, which includes her mother’s letters, journal entries, and emails between Tan and her editor, did not work for me. It felt like two separate books, a memoir and a book about the craft of writing, smashed together. 

Pregnancy Test (Object Lessons) by Karen Weingarten

Pregnancy Test* by Karen Weingarten is an informative, accessible, and timely exploration of the history of the pregnancy test and its social and cultural impact on women’s reproductive lives. 

Charting the invention of the pregnancy test, its marketing, and its evolution to the at-home ‘pee on a stick’ tests that are ever-present today, Weingarten examines the pros and cons of pregnancy testing and why there is more nuance involved than we might think. Namely, while pregnancy tests give people who can become pregnant control over their reproductive lives, the invention of the pregnancy test also led to an increase in the medicalisation of pregnancy and childbirth. 

I won’t lie; even as someone heavily involved in reproductive rights activism, I hadn’t given the invention of the pregnancy test much thought. From the little I did know, I thought the descriptions of early pregnancy tests involving toads were exaggerations. They were not exaggerations!

I would recommend Pregnancy Test to anyone interested in reproductive rights, reproductive justice, and feminism, with the proviso that this book primarily focuses on the US and Canada, which Weingarten acknowledges throughout.

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You Are Not Alone by Cariad Lloyd

You Are Not Alone by Cariad Lloyd. No Advance Reader Copy included. No affiliate links used. Read my full disclosure policy here.

“...WAIT A GRIEVING MINUTE — WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH GRIEF?

Yeah, exactly my bloody thought. This theory has nothing to do with grieving. It is about the dying.”

This book! I want to press a copy of You Are Not Alone into the hands of everyone, whether you are grieving or not. For griefsters (as grievers are affectionately called on the Griefcast), it’s a comforting hug from someone who is, as Cariad Lloyd describes herself, “a long-term member of ‘the club’.” For people who are not grieving, it’s an insightful examination of grief and all its messiness, the “grief-mess”, to use Lloyd’s words. 

As with her podcast Griefcast, Lloyd has created a space to hold people’s grief stories and experiences. A space full of warmth, grace, and humour. Cariad is a comedian, so I mean it when I say they are funnier than you’d expect discussions of grief to be! It is also a brilliantly written memoir meets grief manifesto. 

I loved hearing about Peter, Cariad’s dad, who died when she was fifteen. The snippets of conversations with people Lloyd interviewed on the Griefcast show the many ways people mourn and remember their loved ones. 

I read parts of it out loud to P, telling him this is my favourite grief book. This sounds weird, but I have read a lot of grief books, so I stand by my assessment!  I shouted, “fucking yes!” so forcefully while reading the sections on how grieving isn’t linear and the five stages of grief are lying to us that I startled Arwen (the dog!) 

Given the grief-mess it is understandable that we, as a society, want grief to come with rules, but as Lloyd emphasises, you are not doing grief wrong because there is no correct way to grieve. 

Grief is shit, and it changes you, but you will learn to live alongside it. Lloyd’s grief is different from mine, and my grief will be different from yours. In sharing our experiences, we remind each other that “you are not alone”. 

You Are Not Alone by Cariad Lloyd is published by Bloomsbury Tonic and is available in hardback, ebook, and audiobook format.

I don’t use affiliate links, but if you enjoy my book reviews you can show your support by buying me a coffee here.

All The Books I Read In April

This round-up includes some Advance Reader Copies (eARCs) from publishers via NetGalley. These books are marked with an *. No affiliate links used. Read my full disclosure policy here.

My reading throughout April is best described as “I should read the books I already have on my Kindle.” Although, I switched between my Kindle and the audio versions on Borrowbox for a few of them.  

I’m still dealing with the health issues I mentioned in my March reads round-up, so the list of books I have started reading but have yet to finish has only gotten longer. Most of those unfinished books are fiction, which is why there is only non-fiction on this list. Another way of summing up my reading is, “I’m not doing great at my goal to read more fiction this year.”

Social Capital: Life online in the shadow of Ireland’s tech boom by Aoife Barry

I read Aoife Barry’s Social Capital in two sittings, stopping only to eat dinner; that’s how compelling it is. Blending her personal experiences online with reportage and cultural criticism, journalist Aoife Barry questions whether any of us, including social media companies, knew what we were in for when we logged onto the internet for the first time. 

I’ll have a longer review up soon. For now, I’ll say that Social Capital that it is great to see life online examined from an Irish perspective.

Trans: A Memoir by Juliet Jacques

Trans: A Memoir by Juliet Jacques is a masterclass in writing personal non-fiction while also unpicking the societal expectations that attempt to pigeonhole trans writers into only writing about their transition. 

Yes, this is a memoir about Jacques being a trans woman. It is also about her love of art, film, music, politics and football. These are the things that make Juliet Jacques, well, Juliet Jacques. In showing us the different aspects of her life, Jacques asks the reader to rethink what writing about identity, particularly for trans and non-binary people, can mean.

The Practice of Belonging: Six Lessons from Vibrant Communities to Combat Loneliness, Foster Diversity, and Cultivate Caring Relationships by Lisa Kentgen, PhD

Through her research, psychologist Lisa Kentgen identified six key characteristics of vibrant and healthy communities. They are; commitment to care, acceptance, diversity, skilful conflict resolution, bonding rituals, and hospitality. 

In examining and explaining each pillar to the reader, Kentgen profiles a different community that puts them into practice. The communities and groups profiled include a 500-member choir in Columbus, Ohio; a study circle to build connections between Native and non-Native people in a small town in South Dakota; and a tiny-home village for people who had been chronically houseless in Austin, Texas. 

For me, some of the profiles were stronger than others, but overall, The Practice of Belonging* is a fascinating look at the many ways of building and maintaining community. 

So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo

So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo is a valuable primer on the racial landscape in the US. I would have taken more from this book had it not sat on my Kindle for so long because I have read more in-depth examinations of America’s history of racism since purchasing it. 

I’d still recommend it if you are looking for an entry-level text about racism, privilege, and anti-racism. 

Help! I'm Addicted: A Trans Girl's Self-Discovery and Recovery by Rhyannon Styles

In Help! I’m Addicted* writer and performer Rhyannon Styles uses her experience with alcohol and drug addiction as a starting point to explore the broader experiences of transgender and non-binary people concerning mental health, addiction, and recovery.

Throughout the book, we hear stories from trans and non-binary people about their struggles with addiction, recovery, and how, if at all, that intersected with their transition. For many people, including Styles, 12-step fellowships are crucial in their recovery. For others, 12-step programmes were not how they entered or maintained recovery. I appreciated the understanding that 12-step fellowships are not a prerequisite for everyone in recovery from addiction. This nuance is something we see more frequently in conversations about addiction, which is welcome. I am always here for more nuance in addiction-related conversations. 

While Help! I’m Addicted does not shy away from the complexities of addiction; it is a hopeful book.

Disability Visibility: First-Person Stories from the Twenty-First Century edited by Alice Wong

Edited by Alice Wong, creator of the Disability Visibility Project, Disability Visibility is an anthology of essays by disabled people. In her introduction, Wong tells us that the stories shared do not seek to be a disability 101 or “to inspire or elicit empathy”. This collection is about showing disabled people “simply being in our own words, by our own accounts.” 

Although it does not seek to educate in the sense of explaining what disability is, Disability Visibility is an informative and insightful collection full of rage, hope, pride, recognition, and community. 

The standout essays for me are The Isolation of Being Deaf in Prison by Jeremy Woody, as told to Christie Thompson; Guide Dogs Don’t Lead Blind People. We Wander as One. by Haben Girma; Imposter Syndrome and Parenting with a Disability by Jessica Slice; Six Ways of Looking at Crip Time by Ellen Samuels; and The Beauty of Spaces Created for and by Disabled People by s.e. smith. 

Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner

I requested an advance copy of Crying in H Mart* by Michelle Zauner, from NetGalley, before its publication in 2021. That it has taken me years to finish reading is 100% down to my own experiences of grief. Truthfully, I needed a break from all the grief-related memoirs and non-fiction I had been mainlining since my dad died in 2019. 

Written with warmth, grace, humour, and tenderness, Zauner explores her life as the only Asian American person in her school, her relationship with her parents, her mother Chongmi being diagnosed with cancer, caring for her mother during this time, and the aftermath of her mother’s death. Zauner also shares with the reader her desire to connect more with her Korean heritage, how food provides that connection, her changing relationship with her father, and music's impact on her life. 

I wasn’t familiar with Japanese Breakfast, Zauner’s band, but that didn’t prevent me from connecting with Zauner’s beautifully crafted memoir about grief, family, food, and identity. I sobbed multiple times while listening, so I’d recommend having tissues handy. 

I am glad I decided to pick it up again, this time on audio, because Crying in H Mart is as exquisite as everyone says.

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The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality by Julie Sondra Decker

The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality by Julie Sondra Decker. No affiliate links used. Read my full disclosure policy here.

April 6th is International Asexuality Day, the perfect time to review The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality by Julie Sondra Decker. I requested it on Borrowbox immediately after reading Claire Kane’s review on Instagram, and I am so glad I did. I switched between the audio and the ebook version.

Decker does a brilliant job of exploring asexuality in a way that is accessible to asexual people, people who think they may be asexual, and people who want to be better allies of the asexual/ace community.

While The Invisible Orientation is necessarily fact-heavy, it never feels too academic. Decker draws a clear line between our sex-focused society and the damaging and frankly bullshit idea that asexuality is not a sexual orientation, so there must be something medically wrong with asexual people. 

We are, rightfully, discussing the negative impact compulsory heterosexuality has on LGBTQIA+ people much more frequently these days, but compulsory sexuality isn’t spoken about nearly as often. I deeply appreciated the perspectives of the ace people quoted throughout the book. It’s given me a lot to think about in how I talk about sexuality and relationships and how we can be better allies to the Ace community. 

Books like this are so important, especially in the current climate. I found comfort and understanding in reading other people’s experiences of bisexuality, pansexuality, and m-spec orientations while figuring out my sexuality during my 20s. If even one person reading The Invisible Orientation finds recognition or understanding of their asexuality, especially if they haven’t previously had the language to describe their experiences, then Decker’s work is worth its weight in gold. And I already know more than one person will have that experience! 

The TL;DR version is that everyone, regardless of their sexual orientation, should read The Invisible Orientation. Next on my reading list is Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen. 

The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality by Julie Sondra Decker is published by Skyhorse and is available in hardback, paperback, ebook, and audiobook formats.

I don’t use affiliate links, but if you enjoy my book reviews you can show your support by buying me a coffee here.

All The Books I Read in March

This round-up includes some Advance Reader Copies (eARCs) from publishers via NetGalley. These books are marked with an *. No affiliate links used. Read my full disclosure policy here.

I’ve been dealing with annoying and time-consuming health issues, a knock-on effect of which is that my concentration has deserted me. While I finished five books in March, I started and abandoned many more. And I still have a pile of books I began in February but didn’t finish! This is not a comment on the quality of the books I picked up because I intend to return to them once this bout of brain fog lifts. 

Hysterical: Exploding the Myth of Gendered Emotions by Dr Pragya Agarwal

In Hysterical, Dr Pragya Agarwal, a behaviour and data scientist, unpicks the history of emotions and the persisting notion that women are more emotional than men. 

Most of the research cited is focused on cisgender women and cisgender men, which isn’t surprising. Dr Agarwal emphasises that trans women, trans men, and non-binary people’s experiences are sorely lacking from the science, research, and study of emotions from a gendered perspective. Where research includes trans and non-binary people, Dr Agarwal highlights this, which is a welcome addition to the text. 

If you have ever been told that you are ‘too loud’, ‘too much’, or ‘too emotional’, Hysterical reminds us that society hasn’t moved as far away from diagnosing women with hysteria as we like to think we have. 

I started listening to Hysterical on audio but needed to rewind parts more than once to understand the research thoroughly. I switched to my Kindle, which made reading it easier. 

The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality by Julie Sondra Decker

I downloaded The Invisible Orientation on audio from Borrowbox after reading Claire’s review on Instagram, and I am so glad I did. Julie Sondra Decker does a brilliant job of exploring asexuality in a way that is accessible to asexual people, people who think they may be asexual, and people who want to be better allies of the asexual/ace community. 

While The Invisible Orientation is necessarily fact-heavy, it never feels too academic. Decker draws a clear line between our sex-focused society and the damaging idea that asexuality is not a sexual orientation, so there is something medically wrong with asexual people. I particularly appreciated the perspectives of the ace people quoted throughout the book.

Foster by Claire Keegan

Foster is my second time reading Claire Keegan, and as with Small Things Like These, I wished Keegan wrote full-length novels instead of novellas. Again, Keegan’s decision to end the book where she does left me feeling disconnected from the story. 

Leaving the reader wanting more isn’t unusual, and I cannot fault Keegan’s writing, which is exquisite in its exploration of daily life. But the connection that many others felt with the story wasn’t there for me placing Foster in the ‘I liked but didn’t love’ category.

Cursed Bread by Sophie Mackintosh

I’ll have a longer review of Cursed Bread* as soon as I figure out how to write about this evocative, atmospheric, and strange novel without giving too much of the plot away. Pacing issues aside, I adored this story of obsession inspired by a mass poisoning in the French town of Pont Saint-Esprit in the 1950s. 

Elodie is a character that will stay with me. And I’d happily read a version of this story told from Violet’s point of view. 

The Year of Miracles: Recipes About Love + Grief + Growing Things by Ella Risbridger

Last year I read and loved Ella Risbridger’s Midnight Chicken. I feel the same about The Year of Miracles, Risbridger’s cookbook memoir about slowly rebuilding your life while grieving. Risbridger writes beautifully about difficult experiences, and Elisa Cunningham’s illustrations are gorgeous. 

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